Barry Cox: Making the 70’s Look Bad

The seventh grade has recently started a novel called “I Know What You Did Last Summer”.  It is an amazing book with a plot that pulls you in right from the start.  The characters are your typical protagonists until one dark and stormy night when…

Just kidding, that’s not what happened.

They seem like regular protagonists for a while until you learn that the blanket called their past is covering up some big mistakes.

There is Julie, a redheaded cheerleader that got into a good college far away from home.  Very far away from home…. But anyway, she seems like your average girl.  MAYBE she’d even be a likable character. Maybe…

Then there is Helen.  To be honest, Helen is not my favorite character.  She isn’t the brightest bulb in the box, but she knows one thing.  She is pretty.  Pretty enough to drop out of high school and become the Channel 5 Golden Girl.  Helen is like one of those girls on The Price is Right.  She looks pretty and smiles at the camera.

BUT WAIT.

HELEN HAS OTHER RESPONSIBILITIES.

SUCH AS GIVING THE WEATHER.

AND DANCING.

It’s pretty legitimate.

There is also Ray, Julie’s ex-boyfriend.  Ray is my favorite character because he knows that they can’t hide from their past forever.  He is a generally nice person and he still loves Julie.  That is kind of a problem though.

Then last, and CERTAINLY least there is Barry.

Don’t even get me started.

Too late.

Barry is a stupid jock who has the stupidest logic of the decade known as the 70’s.  He and Helen are in a “relationship”.  That’s what Helen thinks it is at least.  Barry only stays with Helen because she is the Channel Five Golden Girl.  She is just an accessory.  She looks pretty on Barry’s arm.

Barry is also the campus player.  In the book he said “He has a date with Debbie something-or-other”.

BARRY DATES SO MANY WOMEN BESIDES HELEN THAT HE CAN’T REMEMBER THEIR NAMES.

Helen is completely oblivious to the fact  that Barry is a jerk and isn’t worth her time.  Helen is a trophy girlfriend and Barry can tell that she is looking to become a trophy wife.  And Helen practically worships Barry.

Helen: PRAISE LORD BARRY.

Julie: No.

Ray: No

Barry: I am so great. I have ladies on both arms.  I am in a super serious relationship with the Channel Five Golden Girl.  I am amazing. (more non intelligent words that I don’t want to list)

But Barry is my least favorite character for many reasons.  Hopefully now they are obvious reasons.

But really, this is a great book.  You know it’s a great book when the characters and the decisions impact you.  This book certainly has.

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—Meghan Brady, April 30, 2014

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