Top Five Puns

A rule of grammar: double negatives are a no-no.

The local gene pool looks like it could use quite a bit of chlorine.

What did the sea say to the sand? Nothing, it simply waved.

I injured my finger preparing cheese for our pasta. I seem to have grater problems.

What would you call a fish with a missing eye?

A fsh, probably.

More jokes at http://www.short-funny.com/best-puns-4.php#ixzz479B0iyi0

Top Five Puns

  1. It’s not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn’t have the balls to do it.           – Reif
  2. Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink.      -unknown
  3. I wanna make a joke about sodium, but Na..          – unknown
  4. I am on a seafood diet. Every time I see food, I eat it.       -unknown
  5. A friend of mine tried to annoy me with bird puns, but I soon realized that toucan play at that game.      -unknown

 

-Shikha

Joke of the Week

Sometimes I  think to myself,”Do I really want to buy another chocolate bar?”

And then I remember that there is a super volcano under Yellowstone National Park that is 40,000 years overdue and when it erupts it could potentially cover most of North America with ash and create a volcanic winter that kills half the worlds’ population.

And then I’m like,”Heck yeah, I want that chocolate bar.”

Joke of the Week

How Numbers Should Be:

Zeroty

Zeroty-One

Zeroty-Two

Zeroty-Three

Zeroty-Four

Zeroty-Five

Zeroty-Six

Zeroty-Seven

Zeroty-Eight

Zeroty-Nine

Onety

Onety-One

Onety-Two

Onety-Three

Onety-Four

Onety-Five

Onety-Six

Onety-Seven

Onety-Eight

Onety-Nine

Tooty-Two

Tooty-Three

Tooty-Four

Tooty-Five

Tooty-Six

Tooty-Seven

Tooty-Eight

Tooty-Nine

Threety

Threety-One

Threety-Two

Threety-Three

Threety-Four

Threety-Five

Threety-Six

Threety-Seven

Threety-Eight

Threety-Nine

Forty.

Oh. Skip those.

Fivety.

Fivety-One

Fivety-Two

Fivety-Three

Fivety-Four

Fivety-Five

Fivety-Six

Fivety-Seven

Fivety-Eight

Fivety-Nine

Sixty.

Skip those too.

Seventy.

Eighty.

Ninety.

Tenty!

Tenty-One

Tenty-Two

Tenty-Three

Tenty-Four

Tenty-Five

Tenty-Six

Tenty-Seven

Tenty-Eight

Tenty-Nine

Eleventy-One

Eleventy-Two

Eleventy-Three

Eleventy-Four

Eleventy-Five…

I am so glad numbers are not like this.

Joke of the Week

Teacher: “If I gave you 2 cats and another 2 cats and another 2, how many would you have?”
Johnny: “Seven.”
Teacher: “No, listen carefully… If I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?”
Johnny: “Seven.”
Teacher: “Let me put it to you differently. If I gave you two apples, and another two apples and another two, how many would you have?”
Johnny: “Six.”
Teacher: “Good. Now if I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?”
Johnny: “Seven!”
Teacher: “Johnny, where in the heck do you get seven from?!”
Johnny: “Because I’ve already got a flipping cat!”